I put down my bag in the traveler's dormitory and looked up at her…and I spoke..
Me: You know Yen, I always dreamed of traveling the world, just like you..Like when I….
Yen: You din't dream hard enough.
I didn't protest. They say it is better to shut up and let people assume you're a fool than open your mouth and confirm it. I was talking to someone who realized more than what one can dream of, someone who lives up to the spirit of traveling. I assumed she must have been used to common boring people telling her those same lines. But if you knew Yen, you'd actually understand how much she meant it. She had been dreaming all her life about seeing the world. And that's exactly what she did and has been doing.
And if I knew myself enough, I did dream a lot about traveling to the ends of the world, smoking the actual Cuban cigar, tasting the real French wine, riding my custom designed bike through coastal India and the list is endless. Literally fuckin endless. I didn't want a girlfriend, I didn't dream about lots of money, all I wanted to do was travel. As time brought it's lovely wisdom, I later realized that both money and a girlfriend(a rich one) would have facilitated some of my dreams. Anyways...
As I listened to her stories, all I could think of was one thing. What am I doing stuck in a cubicle? I can blame a few liabilities, which would include my Dad and a few other members in my family for being financially dependent on me, but that's not the point. I am painfully aware of the fact that middle class Indians, in general, are competitive, insecure and filled with excuses for not chasing their passions.
I stand at a point where I have 2 choices: Continue to work hard and dream that I will travel someday(yeah, that someday that may never come) or tell myself fuck it, and pack my bags..I would rather be a happy beggar than a rich sad 40 year old buggar., who has kids to take care of.
Cuz after all, it boils down to what matters most to you. You exist, you enjoy and you die. The soil microbes follow suit. Enjoying seems to be the only favorable part, so make the most of it.
I am itching to take a decision. But I would let this December dictate my destiny…
the whole of this December…