Kun wei Tis

With Hellos at the tip of my tongue, a frozen jackass smile, an eagle eye view of the seemingly low humans around me and a parachute heart, I tried living the Chinese way for a month.

Perfecting "Ni hao maaa" qualifies you as 1% Chinese. The final syllable maaa triggers a graceful boomerang of words from the native tongue.

After the Hello, it is pretty much a gibberish exchange of sounds from each other made to appear "real" with the masked happy faces.

The dessert clearly is the "Xie Xie" promptly followed by the "Bu Kuchie". I realized that speaking in Chinese plus Gibberish is way more fulfilling and makes you think you had a meaningful conversation THAAAAAAN a Chinese trying to speak English!

The hutongs are shooting spots for short films/movies and tv commercials.

On spotting the first of those kind,

Me: Whats going on dude?

Chinaman: Its ass.

Me: er..ahem..okay..

Few steps later Chinaman tells me: In the hooo thoang, people shoot lots of ass.

Me: Exploding and imploding at the same time..after realizing he referred to ADS!

Time injected its glorious wisdom into me as I realized "excel shit" was not a slang for excellent shit but instead referred to Excel Sheet(You'll be fine Gates!)

A collector's edition of possible Chinese statements:

English: That can't be right
Chinese: Sum Teeng Woang

English: Who is the fugitive you're harboring?
Chinese: Hoo Yoo Hai Ding

English: Amaaazingggg
Chinese: Soo Paaah

English: Maintaining a low profile
Chinese: Lei ying Lo

English: Don't eat here
Chinese: No Mun Ching

Does not take rocket science to decipher the title as "Convey this", but not everyone visited Chaiiiiiii Naaah!

Zai Jian laaaaa :)