With Hellos at the tip of my tongue, a frozen jackass smile, an eagle eye view of the seemingly low humans around me and a parachute heart, I tried living the Chinese way for a month.
Perfecting "Ni hao maaa" qualifies you as 1% Chinese. The final syllable maaa triggers a graceful boomerang of words from the native tongue.
After the Hello, it is pretty much a gibberish exchange of sounds from each other made to appear "real" with the masked happy faces.
The dessert clearly is the "Xie Xie" promptly followed by the "Bu Kuchie". I realized that speaking in Chinese plus Gibberish is way more fulfilling and makes you think you had a meaningful conversation THAAAAAAN a Chinese trying to speak English!
The hutongs are shooting spots for short films/movies and tv commercials.
On spotting the first of those kind,
Me: Whats going on dude?
Chinaman: Its ass.
Few steps later Chinaman tells me: In the hooo thoang, people shoot lots of ass.
Me: Exploding and imploding at the same time..after realizing he referred to ADS!
Time injected its glorious wisdom into me as I realized "excel shit" was not a slang for excellent shit but instead referred to Excel Sheet(You'll be fine Gates!)
A collector's edition of possible Chinese statements:
English: That can't be right
Chinese: Sum Teeng Woang
English: Who is the fugitive you're harboring?
Chinese: Hoo Yoo Hai Ding
Chinese: Soo Paaah
English: Maintaining a low profile
Chinese: Lei ying Lo
English: Don't eat here
Chinese: No Mun Ching
Does not take rocket science to decipher the title as "Convey this", but not everyone visited Chaiiiiiii Naaah!
Zai Jian laaaaa :)