Thursday, July 23, 2009

Nothing is coming...

Loud silence,
Silent noise...

No not another poem. Just that my hearing system is fucked up
and I cant hear anything right on my right ear!

Rightly screwed,
Screwed on the right...

For people who thought I was ignoring you, well you were probably
right and I gotta good excuse now :p

Deaf applause,
Applaud the deaf.

For people who think this is such a kickass way to talk about ear pain,

You're mistaken,
or worse,
you're probably a mistake

For all others who realized this whole post is gibberish,

You're right,
but I'm left,
with one ear only,
another year gone,
of blogging nonsense.
Nothing is coming...
Nothing is coming...
Nothing is coming...

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Kun wei Tis

With Hellos at the tip of my tongue, a frozen jackass smile, an eagle eye view of the seemingly low humans around me and a parachute heart, I tried living the Chinese way for a month.

Perfecting "Ni hao maaa" qualifies you as 1% Chinese. The final syllable maaa triggers a graceful boomerang of words from the native tongue.

After the Hello, it is pretty much a gibberish exchange of sounds from each other made to appear "real" with the masked happy faces.

The dessert clearly is the "Xie Xie" promptly followed by the "Bu Kuchie". I realized that speaking in Chinese plus Gibberish is way more fulfilling and makes you think you had a meaningful conversation THAAAAAAN a Chinese trying to speak English!

The hutongs are shooting spots for short films/movies and tv commercials.

On spotting the first of those kind,

Me: Whats going on dude?

Chinaman: Its ass.

Me: er..ahem..okay..

Few steps later Chinaman tells me: In the hooo thoang, people shoot lots of ass.

Me: Exploding and imploding at the same time..after realizing he referred to ADS!

Time injected its glorious wisdom into me as I realized "excel shit" was not a slang for excellent shit but instead referred to Excel Sheet(You'll be fine Gates!)

A collector's edition of possible Chinese statements:

English: That can't be right
Chinese: Sum Teeng Woang

English: Who is the fugitive you're harboring?
Chinese: Hoo Yoo Hai Ding

English: Amaaazingggg
Chinese: Soo Paaah

English: Maintaining a low profile
Chinese: Lei ying Lo

English: Don't eat here
Chinese: No Mun Ching

Does not take rocket science to decipher the title as "Convey this", but not everyone visited Chaiiiiiii Naaah!

Zai Jian laaaaa :)