Friday, February 20, 2009

Lazy blogger's scrape

Since I am busy hunting for a new place to stay, I decided to copy paste an amazing piece of write up. Don't want to call it poetry though. Read on...

When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Mahatma Gandhi is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Because I never take a risk

I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Mahatma Gandhi is giving a smile

I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Because I never take a risk

I: Any news on Iyer's daughter's marriage
Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking
out for her

I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg

Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Because I never take a risk

I: But still I think Iyer's daughter's age is not that much
Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink

Mahatma Gandhi laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Mahatma Gandhi's photo & keep
it in the black cupboard

Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Because I never take a risk

I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you say that again, I
will cut your tongue...!
Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...

I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile

Mahatma Gandhi is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Because I never take a risk

I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!
Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside

I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what I did
Because Mahatma Gandhi never takes a risk

Iyer is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Because I never take risk ... hic!


Friday, February 13, 2009

Caught in the web-Part 1

Traveling across Tamil Nadu for a week is a cake walk. But meeting 1000 new people everyday and teaching the 990 internet non-savvy people is a gargantuan task.
The remaining 10 people walked in for the Air Conditioned bus, treating it like a free mobile Internet Cafe.

The interesting times arrive when the Bus stops at a public location. Blokes from all walks of life throng the bus refusing to get down without a freebie!

A genuinely interested person-a rarity!

Some think the bus is for sale. Some think it's a fast food counter before they board it. But that's okay. One guy decided it was a fast food counter even after boarding I guess. He walks in with a half eaten banana, staring at the screens. He finishes the fruit and throws the peel on the floor(of the bus!). Upon hearing 2 people scream at him(including yours truly), he promptly picks up the peel and squeezes it in his pant pocket.

That was still way above the average hygiene of the bus junta. Imagine yourself explaining Internet to folks munching Paan in their mouths and their hands making repeated vertical and horizontal scratching movements with their hands at places you don't wanna know.

Just to give you a slight picture(no not going down there..staying up):

Shoaaa ("So" with Paan munching) Waaat is thiss indar nettu? I did miss my Google umbrella then :)

One guy with hair all over(his face) beckoned me to come near him. He whispered a secret:" Psst...I am researching on unearthing a lost idol of "Baadhaala Bhairavi Amman" Please find it on indar nettu for me"

Then comes a guy with a face on his mustache (words interchanged for the right reasons) He was the DSP of Salem and he wanted info on Anti Corruption and catching criminals with the help of Internet.

A lot of people stared from outside the bus and refused to enter the Bus till we assured them that entry is absolutely free!

School kids had 2 very unique classifications. Boys and Girls. When girls boarded the bus, they came in a line, quiet walked in, saw the screens and walked out.

Boys start pushing each other from 10 meters away abusing each other. "Yaaai indar nett bussu daaa" blaah blaah ..jump inside the bus pulling headphones and almost breaking the equipment inside. Lost a few calories grazing that bunch of kids :)

I have no pic since I was busy controlling the boys' Q
A smart person's attempt at making full use of the Internet bus went bust as the mobile phone(on display) he tried to flinch started beeping. He fled the scene of course :)

Security check-in call forces me to add an hyphen and title this post as Part-1. Over and out from Coimbatore airport. More later of course.