Drunkard Vs Alcoholic

I constantly keep reminding my folks that I am not an alcoholic. I am a drunkard. For the uninitiated, these two terms describe two extremely different characters. I have been pretty jobless so let me present you the difference in a neat format. (Kindly ignore the blank space. Blogger behaves a little funny when tables are written in code and hey I'm sober right now)

FEATURE	DRUNKARD(Read me)	ALCOHOLIC
SKETCH
SKETCH EXPLANATION	NEVER drinks alone Keeps talking while drinking	PREFERS to drink alone Goes into absolute silence once the first sip is downed
ETHICS	NEVER takes a sip without saying CHEERS Makes a toast to people around him	Sniffs and licks the first sip without waiting for anybody Raises the half-empty glass when a toast is made by drunkards
BRANDS	Anything with the radical "-OH" would do Can drink Guiness beer and Padmavathi 5000 with the same joy Hard liquor varieties may include Monitor whisky and Military Rum	Price must exceed $50 (Rs. 2000) Pukes on smelling a bottle of Padmavathi Nothing less than Johnny walker would do
LOCATION	Feels comfortable whether it's under a lorry or in a pub	Requires a good sofa and music
CAPACITY	Usually very high but, Depending on location and distance from home, has an upper limit	Usually very low but, Depending on (bad) mood, can down an entire bottle all alone
MIXING	Not required really. In fact, Pepsi or Sprite might contaminate the drink!	Mixing with soda is a must. In fact, Soda is the main component for an alcoholic with an 80:20 ratio
SUPPLEMENTS	Mandatory Lower limit includes chips, crispies, chikki or even pickle Upper limit includes grapes and chocolates	Anything other than Soda, Ice cubes or the Alcohol is an adulterant to the alcoholic
POST DRINKING(This is how the bottles would look)
NEXT DAY	Hang over Enjoyment more during drinking but low the next day	No Hang Over Enjoys to an optimum level before and after

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But one thing common to all those who consume alcohol is the fact that they never quit! They are ready for a drink any time and most importantly, they do not require a reason or an occasion to drink. I guess that's the "spirit" of it. So cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeersss ;)
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