Thursday, June 19, 2008

Quitting 88mm a 100 times

"Its easy to quit smoking. I've done it a 100 times"

Not only Mark Twain, a million other smokers would say the same thing Im sure. I was a quite a smoker in my college days and I decided that one day when I'm able to quit the habit completely, I will boldly blog about it. Well here I am.(With some help from famous smokers who managed to give amazing quotes)

"It would be a service to mankind if the pills were available in slot machines and the cigarettes were placed on prescription"

I'd have vouched for this anytime during my smoking days. A dozen on any normal day with an extra 5 on exam days. Or another dozen extra if the day involved alcohol.

"Alcohol and cigarettes are like the two hands that clap. You need both to give the effect"

Wondering if this quote sucks?! Well yeah I wrote it thats why.

In fact during exam days, there used to be so much demand for fags(=cigs and not gays).
It used to be the indispenable entity for us to stay awake and study the whole night. When fags got over, the alternate solution were beedis. You get 10 beedis for the price of 1 cigarette.

And when everything got over, the one guy who had cigarettes would get worshipped like God. Suddenly out of the blue, he would become everybody's best friend in hostel. Of course we had rules.

1) Once a smoker has helped you, you're forever indebted to him. Gratitude can be shown but is allowed only in the form of fags. He has the right to come knocking on your doors anyday at any hour.

2)We all comply to 4 D and S. It means you take 4 drags and spin the fag to the next guy in the circle. When any of the greedy morons takes an extra drag(puff), he is penalized in the next round.

3)Lenin rule:It states that a smart smoker is one who smokes 15 cigarettes in a day having bought only 4.

(Origin: We had this smartass called Lenin(50p) who bought 4 cigarettes a day. He uses the first one early in the morning and the remaining 3, late night. All the remaining fags, he smoked by acquired friendships, giving company to the owner of the fag. So when the hostel is devoid of fags, Lenin used the buffer 3 in the most clandestine fashion.)

4)Nobody gets to "go dutch" with cigarettes. One guy buys and all smoke. Anybody who buys one fag and asks the remaining to buy their own gets disowned by the community :)

5)Quitting is prohibited. Talk about peer pressure. Emotional blackmail would make you do the rebound. Common pathetic dialogs include

5)a)Machaan, we all started smoking together and how can you do this to me?

5)b)No use quitting in college life.Finish college and we'll all quit. Lol this is what they said during my training days too. And then I joined work where fags are considered the best stress busters)

5)c)Ok fine I know you quit, you dont have to smoke. Just come with us and give company. (No smoker will ever prefer passive smoking! And it starts all over again)

Next ones are the best. All engineering students will suddenly get MBBS gyaan.

5)d)We all have already started smoking na? Even when we quit now, it makes no sense because all our nerve endings are gone already.

5)e) Cancer is always hereditary machaaan so dont worry we all will never get cancer. This would be the hope giving statement for any engineer ;)

And smoking is not all you do with a ciggy. Other stunts you could do:

1)Lighting up diwali crackers with the fag in your mouth.

2)Smoke rings. I reached up to 10 rings. There were blokes who did 200.

3)Empty the nicotine inside and fill it up with better stuff. For this you need only fag and you're done for the next 2 days.

4)Use the ash to mix it with the birthday bath to completely ruin the supposedly "happy" guy who has had his birthday.

A smoker would go to any extent to get his cigarette when he needs it. Some situations where I (now) feel embarrassed about:

1)I waited till 9 pm to get my TCS results. Losing patience I went out to smoke and they announced my name on the first 5 at 9:05 pm. Whole audience was clapping for the loser smoking outside campus.

2)In Singapore, fags were bloody costly. So I smoked one for sometime, extinguished it halfway and used the next half for a "rainy day".

3)Me and my friend missed a train by a whisker because we went to buy fags for the journey.

4)Journeys always involved 3 or 4 of us smoking inside the loos. A fifth guy(non-smoker) always kept guard and warned us if the TTE came!

There are many others, like my friend managing to smuggle a ciggy in Thirumala where smoking is banned, but I prefer not to degrade myself or my friends anymore.

All said and done, smoking cigarettes is the most dangerous thing for anyone. I have quit smoking after a few incidents that touched me deeply. I realized it aint fun anymore. I'm definitely gonna blog about it here. (The word "here" would get converted into a link soon.Keep checking).

15 comments:

Nikhil Dev said...

I can still do 60+ rings . I used to be popular in my class for that

Pranav Shah said...

Funny read, good job quitting it, dont take it up... ever :) Proud of you!

Abhishek Moothedath said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vivek said...

Macha seriously proud of u da...u know i didnt believe it till i actually saw it...ur next aim should be to get rags to quit(apart from u continuing the good work of course :) )...

manasa said...

Smoking is so Uncoooool!!

I dont care what people say.

and if you did quit(know wht im talking bout right?) ...Congratulations!!

Muraleedharan said...

gr8 machi!!!!:)
proud of u 4 quitting!!!
I still think its easy 2 quit. :)

Cassey said...

Soooo happy 4 u tat u quit... **doesnt matter if u hadnt done it sooner**... its good tat u have now...

and by the way... nothin can keep u awake :)... not even the cigs :)

Brity said...

really really appreciate u quittin:).....n i owe u a treat for this.

FrostAtMidnite said...

Congratulations!!!!!

Sangavi said...

I never knew you were a stunt man on this end. Rings, huh. Waiting for your "here" link. Post that soon.

sumitra rao said...

nice..u made a good choice. hey you write really well!

Individualism - A weapon said...

Really nice message....need to read bewteen the lines to catch the real meaning behind your humorous blog...you have the makings of the comic-but-serious-message-spreading kind....expecting more like this.

Vicky said...

@ person above: thanks...will remember that

Enthu Cutlet said...

And guess what, relevant advertising did work! :) Didn't know you quit! That's awesome.

NowreSymonds said...

Interesting Read!!! I knew how badly you panicked when ur name was not announced with the list of CSE guys. I am sure you'd plans for a '90' though but talking to the rest ruined that!!!

That was the time when Bye-Bye was Hello-hi... Really good to look back