Saturday, November 14, 2009

And the time stops

Well death completes life. Na? I am not really a person who gets shaken when people around me die under one condition. They were old and had their lives lived.
For old folks, death definitely completes life and that's the way to go. But otherwise...

I kid you not, here is a list of strange and unfortunate kicking of buckets that happened to people around me, not necessarily close to me.

Krishna uncle, 50ish, was walking in a residential street of Bangalore and a huuuuuge lorry(naa not a boring accident story) carrying LPG gas cylinders had its latch open at the back. One wicked cylinder popped out and fell straight on Krishna uncle. Yeah, he died.

A nameless relative from Pondicherry went mango picking on a tree inside his own house, so he could give the mangoes to his daughter. Slipped off a branch and yeah, he died, succumbing to head injuries. Can you imagine if the wife met a friend after a year or so and the friends surprised to see her widowed and goes on to ask "how did it happen??" and she replies: he went mango plucking and died.

Mom's colleague was talking to her husband over the phone. Suddenly, the man mumbles something and there is no sound from that end. They later discovered his dead body in his car (with the mobile phone in his hand) parked in T. Nagar, Chennai.
He died cuz the bubblegum he was chewing entered his breathing pipe(or whatever they call it) and he suffered an instant death. My doctor uncle tells me that a vacuum cleaner would have been the quickest way to pull the gum out. (I am not officially allowed to chew gum moms still paranoid) This story is obviously more lame naa? The widow would have had to answer a thousand phone calls and convince people he really died out of a bubblegum block.

For hard hearted folks, the stories above might have come across as a little funny but I don't think you're gonna enjoy this one.

In the BSNL office, Mount Road, a worker gets her baby to work. A co worker who was super excited on seeing the baby, held it up under its arms and flung it high in the air hoping to catch it, and entertain the baby....Well..

The baby hit the apparently low-ceiling fan and the blades struck the skull of the baby. The co worker was never seen again. He quit his job that day and probably left the city.

Well that's why they say: தத்துவமும் தோற்று போகும் இடம்..மரணம்

(Where even the best of philosophy or wisdom fails, is death)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Ass in the lions..oh wait




George Washington said, “An army of asses led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by an ass.”

What about an ass in the lion's hide?

Friday, September 11, 2009

The far fickle relative

Crawled towards,
in all innocence

Walked by,
in assurance

Ran around,
jumped, played
and smiled,
in all ignorance.

Grew up,
in your shadow,
the one that takes no shape now,
or a shape that haunts me.

Lights cast,
the real face out,
what were you?

Sprinting away,
not just from you,
from myself too.

May oblivion prevail,
may memory weaken,
may forgiveness try,
in vain.

Find me not,
for I'm finding myself
Ask yourself,
if you ever found,
you.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

August the 15th



A Tout le monde,
A tous mes amis,
Je vous aime,
Je dois partir..


These are the last words,
I ll eva speak
Set me freeeeeeeeeeeeee





On this independence day, I take freedom beyond what is given to me.

Ssshhhhh,
Au revoir

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Everything is coming



Loud trucks,
noisy fucks


No not another poem...just that my blocked right ear is all opened up and everything around me is noisy

Secrets cease,
Deceased secrets.


For people who spoke stuff I shouldn't hear, well screw you all!

Ear drops,
Drop of decibels.

For everyone who realized this is consecutive crap,

happy hearing,
happy reading,
my ear is back,
two in a pack,
wish me another year,
of blogging nonsense.
everything is coming...
everything is coming...
everything is coming...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Nothing is coming...



Loud silence,
Silent noise...


No not another poem. Just that my hearing system is fucked up
and I cant hear anything right on my right ear!


Rightly screwed,
Screwed on the right...


For people who thought I was ignoring you, well you were probably
right and I gotta good excuse now :p


Deaf applause,
Applaud the deaf.


For people who think this is such a kickass way to talk about ear pain,


You're mistaken,
or worse,
you're probably a mistake


For all others who realized this whole post is gibberish,

You're right,
but I'm left,
with one ear only,
another year gone,
of blogging nonsense.
Nothing is coming...
Nothing is coming...
Nothing is coming...

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Kun wei Tis

With Hellos at the tip of my tongue, a frozen jackass smile, an eagle eye view of the seemingly low humans around me and a parachute heart, I tried living the Chinese way for a month.

Perfecting "Ni hao maaa" qualifies you as 1% Chinese. The final syllable maaa triggers a graceful boomerang of words from the native tongue.

After the Hello, it is pretty much a gibberish exchange of sounds from each other made to appear "real" with the masked happy faces.

The dessert clearly is the "Xie Xie" promptly followed by the "Bu Kuchie". I realized that speaking in Chinese plus Gibberish is way more fulfilling and makes you think you had a meaningful conversation THAAAAAAN a Chinese trying to speak English!

The hutongs are shooting spots for short films/movies and tv commercials.

On spotting the first of those kind,

Me: Whats going on dude?

Chinaman: Its ass.

Me: er..ahem..okay..

Few steps later Chinaman tells me: In the hooo thoang, people shoot lots of ass.

Me: Exploding and imploding at the same time..after realizing he referred to ADS!

Time injected its glorious wisdom into me as I realized "excel shit" was not a slang for excellent shit but instead referred to Excel Sheet(You'll be fine Gates!)

A collector's edition of possible Chinese statements:

English: That can't be right
Chinese: Sum Teeng Woang

English: Who is the fugitive you're harboring?
Chinese: Hoo Yoo Hai Ding

English: Amaaazingggg
Chinese: Soo Paaah

English: Maintaining a low profile
Chinese: Lei ying Lo

English: Don't eat here
Chinese: No Mun Ching

Does not take rocket science to decipher the title as "Convey this", but not everyone visited Chaiiiiiii Naaah!

Zai Jian laaaaa :)